Dating someone with chronic fatigue syndrome
” So allow them the courtesy of saying it (to themselves) in the privacy of their own bedroom while staring at their laptop. Feel comforted in the fact that you can’t see their hands flittering over the keyboard trying to come up with a supportive/appropriate/charming response. If you haven’t come to terms with it yet and are still in a phase of mourning your old life–you probably aren’t ready to date anyway.
And let them have the ability to untangle this information before you sit down to your first date. You’ve got to love yourself–with or without the disease, if you’re going to expect someone new in your life to do the same. –but slamming your fist down on the table every time you decree a new amendment on how you will be treated as a partner is not going to win you any suitors. Remember that relationships are a two way street and you’ve got be willing to put out just as much as you need to take in.
I was unable to get out of bed other than to crawl to the toilet. The effort to stand up was immense and often took several attempts.
Once I was standing I felt dizzy and like I was made of jelly, and would have to sit down again rapidly before passing out.
It seemed a little flirty to me but nothing I could really put my finger on. Then he suggested he stop by (we lived about 45 minutes apart) to show me photos of his recent hiking trip with his son. It doesn't look like the romanticized ideal of a marriage because of my illnesses, but none of my friends' marriages look like the ideal either.
You're dating someone with fibromyalgia (FMS) or chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS)?
We don't do this intentionally and believe me, we wish it didn't happen.
Note: Mary Clark is a pseudonym of a 55 year old woman in our program. She also has migraines, orthostatic intolerance and other medical problems. Her article is based on a message sent to a discussion on dating.It's been important for me to try to let go of the traditional idea of "dating." I was single when I got sick and since then I have married twice and been in a couple other serious relationships.With both of my husbands we became friends before we began to be romantically involved. keeping an open heart (when I'm not terrified of rejection) and trying to be creative in working around my limitations.If they don’t want to go out with you after learning you have Crohn’s, Lupus, whatever–then that’s that. You have to be understanding of people when it comes to your chronic disease.Understand that their first reaction probably will be “what the fuck? People can sense your uneasiness about your disease.